The best part about the world right now is the abundance of stupidity and ignorance. I love it. It’s refreshing. Makes me appreciate my own sanity. But there are some things that make my eyes cringe. I used to wonder why people who do such crazy shit aren’t made fun of by their friends, ultimately educating them about their mistakes. Now I don’t know how many of you out there know people who do this shit.. but if they do.. please inform them that they’re killing people like me very slowly.

Hashtags.

Hashtags help index your content. Which means if you want to index your image to #hot #day #out #i #love #mom. Your image with your mum gets indexed under #hot. We all know what people who search for #hot do on the internet. Now I’m not saying that your mums not hot. She might be but you don’t want someone to look for porn and find your mum. That’d be weird. So weird.

Vegan is not short for Vegetarian

For thousands of years, vegetarians have been ridiculed by meat eaters who address them as – bad hunter genes, selective religious believers, grain eaters and a animal food eaters. With the rise of veganism however, vegetarians have joined the bandwagon and are now convinced that they are better than the meat eaters. If you hate meat and think that it is not the best, stop finding faux replacements. No Sheela, your faux bacon is not as good as real bacon! Far from it. Its not faux-ing bacon.  Also, dont call it milk if its derived from nuts. Its almond extracts, Jason. Not milk.

Selfie as phone wallpaper

Life is short. But not short enough to put up your face as your phone wallpaper. Its like carrying a wallet cover made of your pictures. How much do narcissists love to touch their digital faces? You gots to stop doing that!  Whenever I see a person unlock their screen to a wallpaper of themselves, my body cringes. Its funny that these individuals have created a market large enough for phone companies to come up with mirror related cases and what not! @Narcissas out there! Kim Kardashian called, she wants her brain back. Because she definitely has lost it.

Posting honeymoon pictures

Over the last year, I see people posting pictures from their honeymoon destinations. All I can think of while I see those pictures is “Hey! Hows the banging going?”. But I sadly cant ask them that. Not sure what’s private anymore. I am waiting for a social media platform that just has genitalia as profile pictures. Patent pending. 😛

LinkedIn posts that promises to send you abroad for jobs aren’t real

Listen carefully recent graduates/people new to the internet! If you see a post on LinkedIn that offers individuals jobs abroad, she is just getting your phone numbers/contact deets for a future marketing campaign. I am going to do a similar post soon that asks people to add their favorite meal into the comment box to be considered for a role abroad and I am more than certain that a lot of people are not going to question my method of filtering candidates based on their food preferences. People feed on your desperation and naivety, they are currently being overfed! Stop feeding the animals!

Stop Using Thesaurus for status updates. You are not fooling anyone.

The thesaurus people have taken over haven’t they? Being sapiosexual is kind of thing now. People are overdoing it though. People are losing their minds trying to come up with captions for their posts. If not for the need for captions that seem smart, Jemima would have added a 100 more pictures on Instagram. Thank God for that! Or not. Whatever you believe in. I saw a post the other day that had been updated by a thesaurus and it made no frikkin sense. But I loved that the writer thought that it would make them sound smarter. It gave them away. Let me try talking to them in a language they would understand: Yo sapiosexuals! Dont compose things that don’t bode well!

Generic Tattoos

Getting tattoos was a way to identify themselves from the rest of the population, honor a loved one or to be a part of a cult. But we are living with a generation that gets tattoos based on what they find cool on a random dude/chick’s body. The entire purpose of being rebellious has turned its head around and the rebels now are trying to not get inked. I think I can look at individual now and tell them which tattoo they’ve got. In 3 guesses. Oh, you know what, I dont even have to look at them. If you are someone with a tattoo, you either have a roman numeral, something with wings, the glyphs or words such as believe/live/death. #KeepingItReal

I can breathe now. Thanks for reading through the rant. You don’t need to like, share or subscribe. Sleep tight!