There is no perfect definition for ‘Millennials’. But like the name suggests, it roughly describes the generation of people who reached adulthood in the early 21st century. It is not the best nomenclature (zero thought put into it) for such a large population compared to the ones who came before them. We obviously aren’t the greatest generation but I would have loved to be from a generation that is not named after a time period. And this is exactly what would piss off my predecessors. One of the most heard quotes about millennials by those predecessors goes somewhat like the following

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.”

If millennials think that they are the ones addressed in the above quote, they’ve got it so wrong. These words are by Socrates some couple thousand years ago. Implying that every generation kinda hates the next? I for one hate the fact that my nephews get phones, PlayStations and laptops at the age of 12 when I could only get to use my dad’s phone ONCE! When I was in a hospital bed when I was 13 (out of pity obviously). Early access to technology is not the only thing that drives one up a wall. Music is another example where every generation tries to distinguish them from the other. To every generation, the next generation listens to pure unadulterated shit.

You can use it as a test to check if you are old as fuck or not. Click here and listen to the track. If you do not appreciate the 49 seconds of pure thumping…. You OLD!

Now let’s get to the crux of the matter. Even though most of our predecessors think that we are a privileged lot with access to almost everything from new age medicines to technological advancements that ensure us the instant gratification that we so badly crave for, we are not really living in the greatest time of all. Yes, everything amazing is now just a button-click away, but are we really chilling alright? Are we not struggling enough to find our way in life like our predecessors did?

To begin with, I have to quote the ultra-popular video by Simon Sinek where he tells us how millennials were dealt a bad hand. He tells us how the millennials are misjudged by places of work and how we crave for instant gratification. We are a messed up generation and there is no denying that. Engulfed by some of the most basic problems of all time. Let’s discuss some of them.

THE UNEMPLOYMENT CURSE!!

Most research results state that unemployment rate among millennials is the highest among working population. And no thanks to unpaid internships, this number won’t look as bad as it actually is. After 15-20 years of formal education, one would think that landing a job would be a cake-walk. But little do we know what that cake is made of. Yes, it’s made of shit. The education system is failing us and there are no attempts made to reinvent it or disrupt it. This multi-billion dollar industry needs a kick in the arse and I hope there comes a time when degrees goes to the shitters and skills-based programs are are the only programs available at universities.

So the most educated generation is now the most unemployed too. These numbers are discouraging and I think legalising marijuana is the only possible solution to this massive, massive problem :P.

THE SOCIAL MEDIA CURSE

Talking about things that make you feel better, please like, share, subscribe and print out my blog and stick it on your mirror. Because I need your validation and without it, I am just a lonely man with a very tiny penis. Social media/dopamine peddler is the reason why I think a majority of the could-be-depressed population is not depressed superficially. With constant updates from everyone around you getting married and finding amazing jobs and travelling to amazing places, you just cannot afford to be depressed for long. You HAVE to go out and make sure your friends learn that you are having the time of your life. The pressure to have fun all the time is inSaayin! Also, a note to people who post “Feeling Happy” updates and hashtags, we know that you are actually not. Your ex/nemesis knows it too. SAD!

I met a 13 year old last night who told me that he is bored of instagram. How awesome is that if that had happened to you? Hours can be saved which can be used to do something else that is irrevelant and non-productive. I think introducing certain social media to kids early in their life might be a great idea. Make em think that its shitty so they never go back to it again. Same goes for making them try alcohol real early 😛 #DoTryThisAtHome

THE ENVIRONMENTAL CURSE

• So, 12.6 million people die every year due to unhealthy environments. That’s 0.00168% of the total world population and probably the amount of fucks most of the world gives for environmental degradation and global warming. According to data, it is evident that sea level has risen by 8 inches in the last 100 years. That’s more than the average penis size of men from Congo. Yes, the earth is getting its own penis to fuck us up bad. The majority of scientists predict that by 2100, the sea-level will rise by a feet or two and that will be some major dicking. Talking about penises and global warming, please check out this video where John Oliver tries to explain how global warming is breaking polar bear penises. That’s right wingmen of the world, polluting is not just cock blocking.

Why are Millennials bad at ‘adulting’?

Getting to my point, millennials are now taking ‘adulting’ classes to learn how to be adults. But can we blame them? Since I was a kid, I had the notion that an adult is someone who goes to work. Is married. Has his/her life figured out. And that I think should be a decent bar to be set for any adult. Apart from the marriage bit. I am not a big fan of the institution of marriage as it is just another thing that man made up YEARS ago and makes no sense now.

Hence in order to be an adult, millennials should get a job, be married and have their life figured out. This process of ‘adulting’ has gotten tough for millennials due to the following reasons –

• Landing jobs is getting tougher every day (go up to read more on this).
• The average age to get married has increased by a good number.
• Contentment is a thing of the past. This part is never getting a tick from non saints.

Since we are not able to tick off the most basic ‘adulting’ parameters, is it really easy to blame us millennials to not be adults in their early 20s? Is it also OK to accuse the parents of those millennials for their ‘adulting’ failure? I don’t think so. There is no real solution to this problem other than to just live and let live and to stop generalising the generation. Let me reiterate some of the most common misconceptions about millennials.

1. Not every millennial is non religious. Though more are following youtube channels and twitter handles over the almighty. That’s a kind of religion and you’ve got to respect that.

2. Not all millennials are entitled. They know for a fact that working hard is their only option.

3. Millennials care about a lot of things.

4. Millennials need instant gratification. Granted. But isn’t that a common theme among everyone?

5. Every millennial is not a tech whiz. We can be just as bad as a 70 year old who doesn’t “get the internet”.

6. Millennials are as ambitious as any other generation. Maybe even more.

7. Lastly, not all millennials are alike.

To end it all (I am bad at ending conversations. Oh no. I love to end conversations but I don’t do it well), Millennials need more time to ‘adult’ not because we’re lazy but because things have gotten too competitive and pressures to start ‘adulting’ is never going to help. So stay confident and continue to bottle up your emotions, my millennial brethren.